THE STATE OF THE FAMILY

First, some basic facts about the benefits of the nuclear family for children. 

1. 35% of children in single parent households live below the poverty level. Cohabitation actually makes it worse, with 40% of children with cohabiting parents living below the poverty level. The percentage of children in married households living below the poverty level—8%.

2. 11% of children in single parent households were found to have high levels of behavioral and emotional problems, compared to 9% of children with cohabiting parents. The percentage of children with high levels of behavioral and emotional problems in married households—6%.

3. 23% of children in single parent households have been suspended or expelled from school in the past 12 months and it is the same for children with cohabiting parents. The percentage of children in married households suspended or expelled from school in the past 12 months—10%.

We really do not need any additional studies.  The evidence is in and the conclusions compelling and profound.  Two-parent families that are stable produce stable, emotionally adjusted children.  They are better citizens and more productive citizens.  As I have stated many times, stable families are the bedrock of civilization.

• Threat #1—Cohabitation.  In France, for example, marriage has fallen out of favor.  Growing numbers of couples are choosing to raise their children, buy homes and build their relationships without religious or civil ceremonies to sanction their marriage.  They are simply cohabiting.  As Molly Moore reports in a recent article, “In the past generation, the French marriage rate has plunged more than 30%, even as population and birthrates have been rising.”  In fact, marriage is in decline across much of northern Europe, from Scandinavia to France, a pattern some sociologists are describing as a “soft revolution” in European society—“a generational shift away from Old World traditions and institutions toward a greater emphasis on personal independence,” what I like to call personal autonomy.  But French couples are abandoning the institution of marriage faster than most other Europeans and far more rapidly than their American counterparts.  For example, French marriage rates are 45% below US figures.  In 2004, the most recent year for which figures are available, the marriage rate in France was 4.3 per 1,000 people, compared with 5.1 in the UK and 7.8 in the US.  The only European countries below France are Belgium (4.1) and Slovenia (3.3).  Moore writes that “The trend in France is driven by a convergence of social transactions in both demographics and cultural landscapes, including this generation’s nearly universal estrangement from religion, especially the Catholic Church; massive migration to urban areas, where young adults are more independent from their families; and a society that has become not only tolerant but supportive of personal choice in lifestyles.”  The result naturally is a dramatic increase in out-of-wedlock birthrates:  Last year, 59% of all first-born French children were born to unwed parents, most by chance not by choice.  The numbers were not driven by single mothers, teenage mothers or poor mothers, but by couples from all social and economic backgrounds who chose parenthood without marriage vows.  In addition, there are role models who demonstrate that it is fine to reject marriage.  Segolene Royal, who recently won the Socialist Party nomination for president in next year’s election, and Francois Hollande, that Party’s leader, have had four children during their 25 years of cohabitation.  French Defense Minister, Michele Alliot-Marie, another presidential contender, has spent nearly 22 unmarried years living with Patrick Ollier, a member of the National Assembly.  Finally, France has a new law that recognizes “civil partnerships,” which provides for legal recognition of a couple but stops short of the entanglements of a marriage pact.  No matter how one looks at this development, it is rather difficult to view this as a positive for civilization.

• Threat #2—Polygamy.  Within the US, polygamy has deep roots in Utah’s history and in Mormonism.  Within the history of Mormon doctrine, many once believed (and Mormon fundamentalists still believe) that only men with plural marriages will get to heaven.  But the US Congress would not endorse Utah statehood until Mormons swore off polygamy, which they did in the 1890s.  However, even though Mormonism officially ended polygamy, polygamous communities continued throughout the West and into Canada and Mexico.  Recently, officials within Utah have taken an unofficial stance of benign neglect when it comes to polygamy.  John Pomfret, in a recent article, demonstrates that today over 40,000 men, women and children live in polygamous communities and they lead a new movement to decriminalize bigamy and polygamy.  Borrowing from the successes of the gay-rights movement, polygamists have reframed the issue around the matter of rights and liberty, deemphasizing the matter of religious convictions.  Hence, Utah’s Attorney General, Mark L. Shurtleff no longer prosecutes polygamy cases between consenting adults, even though it is a felony.  The effort to decriminalize bigamy and polygamy has found support from several unexpected sources:  (1)  HBO’s series “Big Love,” about a Mormon with three wives, three sets of bills, three sets of chores and three sets of children, marked a watershed in TV, for it presents polygamy in a sympathetic manner.  (2)  The US Supreme Court in its 2003 Lawrence v. Texas case voided laws criminalizing sodomy, but centered the argument on the liberty and the autonomy of the individual.  Many contended in 2003, that the Court had given the constitutional justification for bigamy, polygamy and just about any other expression of perversion by arguing the way it did.  They were correct, for advocates of polygamy are now using the logic of Lawrence to make their case.  (3)  Liberal legal scholars are therefore championing decriminalization by arguing that “no practice among consenting adults should be a felony”!!!  What was once unthinkable has become debatable and is gradually becoming acceptable.  With the logic of this culture, there is simply no way that polygamy will not someday be a legitimate option for adults.  The impact on children and on the family will not be positive.

In short, Western Civilization is seeing the demise of the most important institution for the building of civilization.  We will pay a dear price in the next generation as we see increasing dysfunction among children and then their children.  May God have mercy upon us!

See “End of Day” (21 November 2006); Molly Moore, “More Longtime Couples in France Prefer L’Amour without Marriage,” Washington Post (21 November 2006); John Pomfret, “Polygamists Fight to be Seen as Part of Mainstream Society,” Washington Post (21 November 2006).