POSTMODERNITY, MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY

• First, a recent report on how Catholics view the institution of marriage is both encouraging and disheartening.  Christine Whelan reports that:  “For Catholic members of the ‘millennial generation,’ men and women born between 1982 and 1989, marriage is not to be undertaken lightly.  Some 82% of these teens and 20-somethings report that they believe marriage is a lifelong commitment, compared with only 56% of Catholics aged 47 to 64—approximately their parents’s generation.  Moreover, 84% of these young Catholic adults report concern that ‘couples don’t take marriage seriously enough when divorce is easily available.’  By comparison, only 67% of their parents’ generation agree with this statement.”  Surprisingly, these views of the millennials, according to research, are not rooted in Catholic teaching.  Furthermore, millennials are not concerned that their future spouse be a Catholic or a Christian.  Their spouse instead, must be their “soul mate.”  In typical postmodern fashion, these Catholic young adults reflect the postmodern pursuit of autonomy:  Catholic youth may have a more conservative outlook on life than their parents’ generation but they also have an individualized idea of who sets the rules.  Christian Smith, sociologist from Notre Dame, writes:  “Most younger Catholics have defined their inner self as the authority, and many freely distance themselves from church practices they don’t believe in.”  The study, done by Georgetown University, demonstrates that 69% of Catholics age 18 to 25 believe “marriage is whatever two people want it to be,” while just over half of their parents’ and grandparents’ generation agreed with that statement.  Whelan confirms that research on other Christian denominations demonstrate similar findings about autonomy and views on marriage.  The pursuit of personal autonomy, so characteristic of Postmodernism, is hitting the church big time!  No matter what the tradition, Catholic or Protestant, teachings on marriage are having little effect on what marriage means to this millennial generation.  They may be conservative on how they personally approach marriage but, for them, the construct is fluid, its forms don’t matter and the role of personal faith in choosing a spouse is not a priority.  Correctly, Stephanie Coontz observes:  “Once you start tinkering with the kind of set-in-stone beliefs that used to keep people in the same marriages and at the same jobs for most of their lives, where do you draw the line?”  See Christine Whelan’s helpful article in the Wall Street Journal (22 February 2008).

• Second, genetics technology, especially paternity testing, is taking a new turn.  Let me explain.  Genetic testing is affecting how men view their children, especially if there is suspected female infidelity and the lack of certainty about whose child is it?  A recent study in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health, reports that they have found rates of paternal discrepancy of about 4%, on average.  This means that approximately one man in 25 named as the biological father on a child’s birth certificate is not the real father—and may not even know it.  Further, between 1991 and 2001, the number of people seeking paternity tests more than doubled in the US, to 310,490.  These numbers seem to suggest that female infidelity is on the rise.  Amazingly, there is now an over-the-counter paternity test for a suggested retail price of $29.99, plus an additional $119 lab fee.  It is called Identigene.  Men can now use this product to indeed confirm that they are the father of their child.  This product could affect the outcome of paternity suits, especially for those fathers who are paying child support.  For example, a 2006 study in New Hampshire found that nearly 30% of fathers paying child support were not the biological parent of the child they were helping.  Christine Rosen writes that “the increasing popularity of paternity testing seems to confirm what sociobiologists have been noting for years:  From a strictly genetic point of view, it has always been in some women’s interest to adopt a ‘mixed mating’ strategy—acquiring supposedly superior genes from one man but turning to another for resources to raise the child.”  Such tests as those marketed by Identigene are really tests of trust.  Rosen writes:  “Perhaps the growing interest in paternity testing reveals a broader cultural anxiety about fidelity in contemporary society, an anxiety exacerbated by the fact that an increasing number of parents bear and rear children outside the institution of marriage.”  Such new technologies may help a spouse discover infidelity and prove it in court.  But, it will never solve the problem of why there is infidelity in the first place.  Such tests as those being promoted by Identigene will have little effect on the actual practice of infidelity, but it will give a new resource to men who are being charged with giving child support to children that are not actually theirs.  One can hardly be excited about such a new technology that merely takes us another step closer to confirming what we have always suspected about postmodern autonomy—it is not good for the institution of marriage.  See Christine Rosen in the Wall Street Journal (22 February 2008).

• Finally, the evidence is mounting that the concept of father is diminishing in this postmodern culture.  But the importance of the father has never been more critical to the children of this generation.  In 1960, 5.8 million American kids lived in single-parent families.  Today, that number has more than tripled, to an astonishing 18 million.  Ten years ago, children in a one-parent home were most likely to be victims of divorce.  Dan Davenport reports that “Today, the number of kids whose parents are divorced is nearly equaled by the number of children in homes where there never has been a dad.  One out of three babies in America today are born to unmarried women—a 600% increase since 1960.”  Why do children need both a mom and a dad?  God so designed the respective roles that are both complementary and mutually supportive.  Listen to David Popenoe of Rutgers University:  “Mothers tend to be responsive and fathers firm.  Mothers stress emotional security and relationships while fathers stress competition and risk-taking.  Mothers typically express more concern for the child’s well-being, while fathers concentrate on a child’s long-term autonomy and independence.”  Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandefeur studied 25,000 children and found that, compared with children raised by both parents, those raised by one parent (nine times out of 10 it’s the mother), were twice as likely to drop out of high school and 2.5 times as likely to be teen mothers.  According to the National Fatherhood Institute, a child’s parents’ marital status has more influence over that child’s future success than any other factor, including race, income, and educational level of the parents.  David Blankenhorn has agreed with Margaret Mead in stating that “the supreme test of any civilization is whether it can socialize men by teaching them to be fathers.”  The National Fatherhood Institute suggests several key elements in being a good father.  These mesh perfectly with Paul’s counsel in Ephesians 6:1-4 and Colossians 3:20-21:

1. Respect the children’s mother.
2. Spend time with your children.
3. Earn the right to be heard.
4. Discipline with a gentle spirit.
5. Be a role model.
6. Be a teacher.
7. Eat together as a family.
8. Read to your children.
9. Show affection.
10. Realize that a father’s job is never done.

See Dan Davenport, “Why We Need Fathers,” Better Homes and Gardens (June 1996), pp. 46-51.

Print